Seriously I am like salivating right now.
By Big the Cat, April 1 2016

By the time you are 40 you will have spent at least 1 year of your life playing fishing games, this is a scientific fact as recently proven from the University of Dumbledee’s medial directors. Sometimes we buy games just for the fishing mini-game experience, sometimes we don’t realise they’re there. But when we find them, we have to play them, for days on end.

Some fishing experiences are better than others, with that in mind I have compiled a list of the top 10 fishing experiences in video-game’s. All of these have my own ‘Big’ seal of approval, if you happen to find them, you should play them, for the fishing experience of course.

Number 10: James Pond – James Pond

James Pond is a fish, a fish who can walk on the land, he can stretch his body to get to higher places. On the box he’s holding a gun, he’s supposed to be a spy. But he’s a fish.

You can’t catch or eat him though, that’s a shame.

Number 9: Earthworm Jim – Bob The Killer Goldfish

Earthworm Jim is a worm, I don’t like worms, I sniffed a worm once, it was cold and slimy.

I like fish, they taste delicious.

Earthworm Jim has to battle with an evil boss called ‘Bob The Killer Goldfish’ unlike other fights at the time, this boss fight is different. You can just run upto Bob and eat him.

This is world class level design, Batman’s Mr Freeze fight was inspired by this moment, as was most of the Metal Gear Solid boss fights. You don’t need to use your weapons to fight the boss, you use your mind to outsmart him.

But it looses points because you can only eat Bob once per play through, and goldfish are small so it’s not much of a meal.

Number 8: Jaws Unleashed – Jaws

There have been movies about fish. There have been books about fish. Moby Dick is not a fish. But Jaws is. He got made into a movie and a game, because he’s a fish. If you are a fish, you get books and movies. Dolphins get TV shows, they are not fish. Dolphins are stupid.

In Jaws Unleashed you play as a fish named Jaws, Jaws just wants to be friends with the people, but they don’t like him because he ruins their fun time at the beach. Jaws also gets hungry, in this game you swim around eating large fish.

This is an educational game as you learn what other fish like to eat. It turns out it’s people, other fish, wales, entire boats and Chief Brody. I like this game as you swim around and catch other fish, large fish, they make good meals.

But the downside, you have to play as a fish instead of a cat.

Number 7: Cat Goes Fishing – All the Fish

Cat Goes Fishing is a game about a cat who goes fishing. This game is an illegal adaptation of my life story. I am currently in legal dispute with the owner over the royalty rights and cannot talk any further about it.

But it’s about me and my life so therefore it is great.

Number 6: Train Simulator 2016 – No fish, only trains

Train Simulator 2016 is a game on steam in which you play as a train. You pick up passengers and listen to them complain about the fact the train is late and how they don’t have a reserved seat. Or that the air conditioning is broken.

The game appears when you look for ‘fishing’ games on Steam, but there are no fish in it. I propose you mod the trains so that they are fish. That would improve the game a lot.

This game should not have been included on the list. But I like the idea of turning all trains into fish.

Number 5: Yakuza 5 – The Human Face Fish & Tuna

Yakuza 5 is a really good mini-game trapped inside a huge fishing simulator. It’s odd because you have to play the mini-game before you get access to the fishing simulator.

The fishing simulator is set in several different cities and even a mountain village. You can fish in either fresh or sea water. There are different fish in all cities and water types.

The best fish are the rare ones, such as the Tuna, the Human Face Fish and Tuna are worth a lot of money, you can use money to buy more bait and if you want, stuff for your character in the crime mini-game.

You can even eat the fish at restaurants.

The good parts is that the game is a huge fishing simulator which will take you hours to complete. The worst part is that you are a human and not a cat, and the game is trapped behind a mini-game about crime.

Number 4: Call of Duty Ghosts – All the Advanced Fish Ai.

Please watch this video first

Call of Duty Ghosts is a game which you run around shooting people because a man tells you to. The developers made a big deal about advanced fish Ai, it is revolutionary in the world of fishing games, because it has advanced fish Ai, this means that fish will swim out of the way when you get close to them.

This is a major development in gaming.

Mario did the same in Mario 64 and So did I in Sonic Adventure, but this was the first time Call of Duty had it, therefore it was a great move, as many call of duty fans don’t know there are other games other than COD.

After that was pointed out and the fish Ai didn’t seem to work in the game, the developers said that Fish Ai was a joke. But this is not a joke Infinity Ward. You don’t joke about Fish Ai, it’s too important.

The best parts – There is advanced fish Ai from the 1990’s, there are fish in a shooting game.

The worst parts – the game is called COD, but there are no Cods in the game, There are also no ghosts. I like ghosts, they’re spooky.

Number 3: Yakuza Dead Souls – Zombie

There is another fishing game trapped inside a giant mini-game, but this one is stranger, Yakuza Dead Souls is a fishing game trapped inside a zombie crime shooting game. The plot of this game is that a zombie fish infected the world’s food supply and people ate it, which turned them into zombies.

When you fish, you can catch fish as before, but you might also catch a zombie.

All the positives are the same as previously mentioned.

The negatives are that if you eat the zombie you might become a zombie. I do not want to be a zombie.

Number 2: Aquanauts Holiday: Hidden Memories – Ocean Sunfish

Aquanauts Holiday is a PS3 exclusive game about looking at fish. When the PS3 was first designed and released, many people said it looked like a grill, so they decided to release a game in which you look at a lot of fish.

It’s a very pretty game, it has graphics.

The game has a great story, you are looking for evidence to find a missing research scientists, the scientist looks exactly like UK daytime TV star Richard Madeley, no I’m not joking. Look, here is the scientist you are looking for.

And here is Richard Madeley.

It’s the same man.

What you do is to swim around the ocean, logging every specimen you find, as your database expands, so does the range of your vessel.

This is a lovely relaxing game which will probably make you sleep, I enjoy sleeping as I am a cat. There are hundreds of fish, it will take you a long time to find them all. I liked this game a lot.

You talk to humans, but you are never given a name or see yourself, therefore it is more than likely that you are playing as a cat.

I have highlighted the Ocean Sunfish here because it’s a funny looking fish, but there are so many fish in this game I could have picked anything. However this fish looks funny so it gets picked.

However, the biggest complaint about the game is that you cannot eat the fish.

Number 1: Seaman – Seaman

Seaman is a revolutionary game, you are tricked into thinking you eventually eat him. But this is where the game shows it’s master stroke.

Eventually Seaman will mature and swim around and… talk to you. Seaman is a human face fish, Seaman is a very important fish, as first you have to take care of him until he matures and is capable of conversation and will greatly expand your outlook on life, the universe and everything in it.

You don’t play seaman, it’s a religious experience, you will deepen your knowledge, spiritual outlook and open your mind to new possibilities.

Some countries now have a law which means their citizens have to play Seaman when they turn 16. Soon this will be expanded across both the United Kingdom and the United States with France already conducting Seaman trials in many of it’s major cities, such as Paris and Rapture.

In Conclusion

Many games have fish in them, but these games have the best fish. Except Train Simulator. Train Simulator needs more fish to be considered a fishing game. Trains are not fish.