Just can’t keep dis VIP out.
By Big the Cat, April 1 2016

Space Colony ARK is like some super important facility or something, which had loads of secret military and stuff contained in there for all time. And a lizard. So you think it may be hard for a ninja cat, trained by the masters of fishing fujitsu, to gain access. Especially when there’s a party happening there and you’re not invited. 🙁

But no. Life finds a way, just like that man said in that film about big mean lizards. And as Big the Cat is Life, I too find a way. If I was literate in any way (I got Norton to transcribe this as I was talking, hee) I’d write a letter to Gerald Robotnik’s superiors telling them off for having loads of security issues. Here’s why.

1. I can climb all of these grills, even without any air. On the plus side, this place has such big, nice, tasty grills…

2. I can fish for fish in this fishy-looking goo. Look, Eggman’s biting!

3. This place is blowing up and I can just stand here

4. I fell through some floorboards and got stuck between two walls (hi Knuckles :))

5. I don’t even remember how I got here.

6. The best part is, nobody even noticed I was here!

7. I’m a ninja